Look.

We’re your daughter, neighbour, colleague, friend

and we’re hoping your questions and assumptions will end.

Some of us want and some of us never did

Some of us never thought about having a kid.

Some of us feel happy where others feel pain

Either way it’s unhelpful to go over again.

But do look, because we want to be seen

We’re here now and will be and always have been.

And we  don’t hate mothers or fathers or men

We just don’t want people to ask us again

Or god forbid tell us we’ll change our mind

Because we really won’t and it really is fine

And some of us can’t because it wasn’t an option

And we know you mean well but don’t mention adoption.

That might be something we want to explore

Or we might always remain just a little unsure

Or be absolutely unequivocally emphatic

Because if we HAD to have babies it would be automatic

But we don’t. And it isn’t. It’s a mixture of stuff

Of circumstance and choice and the thing is that alone, we’re enough

And not just enough, much more than just vessels

And we can stand up for you and all the things that you wrestle

Because patriarchy, stigma, social injustice,

Won’t fight themselves, we’ve seen it, trust us.

And if we choose to do nothing then just let us ‘be’

And don’t ask the things you wonder casually

Look, but when you see the elephant in the room

Don’t ask. Don’t assume.